My daughter and I just returned from our first college visit trip.  It was a unique experience.  I was a little stressed before hand getting all the travel arrangements made and wondering if we could actually afford to visit two colleges over spring break, but, of course, God provided abundantly!

I won’t say much about the colleges because, well, we’ve only seen two, and in the next two years my daughter could change her mind a million times.  But I did want to talk about the process…It was such a learning experience for me…I learned a lot about this process, about myself, about God, and a little more about my daughter…I learned that this process does not have to be scary.  This next phase need not be any more worrisome than this phase is.  This process is so much less stressful than I thought it would be (until I get the first bill, of course).  God has my girl in His hand.  She is seeking Him.  I am a director and mentor, but God is the CEO.

I was proud that my daughter handled all of the appointments and even asked questions, as she was simultaneously bombarded with information.  She knows what she is looking for, and it has nothing to do with legalism.  She wants to go where the students are on fire for the Lord, not where there is a checklist of things that mean you are engaging in the Christian life on campus.

I do not know where we are headed in this process, but I do know that I need to continue to be consulting God as we go, not the “experts” in the field so much.  They obviously have their place, and can give information and perspective, but God, He has control.

I do have some “Mom-worries” as we travel this road…what if she’s not ready?  What if she can’t keep up?  What if she loses her passion for her faith?  What if her grades drop and we can’t afford the school she wants after all?  What is she isn’t passionate about anything, and can’t decide what to study?  What if she’s not all that smart after all?  What if she won’t engage with others and is lonely?  What if her faith becomes rote and legalistic?

Essentially, in this phase of her life, we begin passing the authority to God.  She is responsible to Him.  Not that we are completely “hands off” at this point, but we need to send her to One who knows her best.  Do I make this sound too easy?  It’s not.  I am wrestling.  I want to take control.  I want to make it work out my way.  I want to spout my opinions and make her take them as her own.

But God calls me slightly, just slightly, a few steps away…a few steps off center…He reminds me of His love for her and of my responsibility to be what she needs in this next phase…and hopefully, I’ll learn what that is as I travel a new road…but I’m not alone–and I’m learning that sometimes that’s all I need to know…

Sometimes in the rush of the day, in life’s busy schedule, in the midst of trying to maintain some sort of structure and discipline, I forget.  I forget how special it is to be a mom.  I forget how great my kids are.  And how normal.

This weekend I was reminded how special my son, my middle child, is.  He went on his 8th grade retreat.  That alone was tough for me.  In less than one month I will have two high schoolers…it makes me feel old…and happy, excited, scared, sad, nostalgic…need I go on?  Anyway, the youth pastor asked that the parents write letters to their child.  He passed them out Saturday night.  As I wrote my letter, I thought of all the things I wanted him to know.  And all the things I thought he should learn before he grows up.  But the more I wrote, the more I began to think of all the things he’s taught me.  And sweet snapshots of his sensitive heart began to flood my mind.  It’s funny how the current frustrations melted away when I remembered him as a sweet, little, six-year-old sitting on our front steps with his Bible, sharing Jesus with a neighbor.

I pray that I remain sensitive to that as I parent these high school years.  I really can get caught up in grades, chores, and attitudes…and these things are important.  But truly, am I looking at my children’s hearts, the things they really need from me, the way God’s made and gifted them, and am I appreciating all the richness they bring to my life?  Because sometimes, I forget.

Lord, please, bring to mind what is truly important as I parent these precious children.

Do you know this prayer?  Oh, maybe you've seen it on a plaque.  Or maybe you associate it with something "those 12 step people" do.  But are you familiar with the entire prayer?  This prayer has made a powerful impact on me the past two years as many things have happened (and continue to happen) that are out of my control.  It goes like this:

                                                     God, give us grace to accept with serenity

                                                           the things that cannot be changed,

                                                               Courage to change the things

                                                                   which should be changed

                                                               and the Wisdom to distinguish

                                                                     the one from the other.

                                                                    Living one day at a time,

                                                             Enjoying one moment at a a time,

                                                      Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

                                                                      Taking, as Jesus did,

                                                                    This sinful world as it is,

                                                                     Not as I would have it,

                                                       Trusting that You will make all things right,

                                                                   If I surrender to Your will,

                                                    So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,

                                                And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

                                                                                  Amen.

Living, enjoying, accepting, taking, trusting, and surrender all leading to supreme happiness in heaven with our loving Father.  I know wrote prayers are really "out of style" but don't write them off completely.  The prayers of others can help us express things that we haven't found a way to express ourselves.

--God's peace is like a shaft of golden light shining continuously. During days of bright sunshine, it may blend in with your surroundings. On darker days, His peace stands out in sharp contrast to the surrounding circumstances. See times of darkness as opportunities for His light to shine in transcendent splendor. He is training us to practice peace that overpowers darkness. Collaborate with Him in this training. Do not grow weary and lose heart. --Sarah Young, author